You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
