I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
