I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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