just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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