We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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