and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
