Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
