The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
