just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
