I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
