Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
