Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
