i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Are we still banned from the library?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
