the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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