I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
