A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
