is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
