who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
