used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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