i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
