You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
