That's when you crack a 10am beer
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
