those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
