Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
