the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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