Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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