Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
