it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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