Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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