can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
