i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
