Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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