If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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