I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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