okay pat passed out under dana's car
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
