So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
