it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
