Someone shit on the floor
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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