Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
