Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
