you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dick very happy bro
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
