I'm eating all of the evidence.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
