You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
