I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
