Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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