Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
