We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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