Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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