Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
