I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
